rev. sheila h. bradshaw biblical counseling ministry

Living at Peace with Loss

The beauty of each new sunrise holds promise of fulfilled dreams…until you pass through the imposing gates of grief. Such grief paints a quite different picture with a vastly different future.  All who enter the heaviness of a heartrending loss are ushered into a desolate shadowland that seems to have no sun. Day after day the darkness pervades your soul with an inescapable sense of loss, a loss of what was once held dear. But do not lose hope.

Grief is common in our broken world. Over this past year there have been practically one half million people to die from the COVID-19 virus alone, as well as other deaths that have hit close to home. When we face significant loss in our lives, it is natural to feel heartache and to mourn. But in our grief God is nearby. He sees our pain, understands it, and walks with us every day. God’s word shows that we do not grieve without purpose or without His presence.

Grief over the death of a loved one does not just go away in a few weeks or months. Healthy grieving can last for one, two, or even five years. This is especially true when the loss is a beloved child, parent, or mate. Everyone grieves differently, but you will grieve in your own time and own way.  As you entrust yourself to the Lord, your grieving gradually lessens, and He restores joy to your heart.

It takes courage to allow yourself to be open and honest about your feelings of intense sorrow and emotional pain. For some, the reality of personal pain has been buried so deeply that the ability to experience real grief is blocked. Unhealthy grief or unresolved sorrow is a barrier to emotional progress and blocks awareness of the love and comfort God has for us.

Accepting the reality of unwanted loss may consume all your energy as you work through this inner conflict daily. You do not have to work through your grief alone. 

Moving on with Life

As you grieve you may find it useful to use some of the following strategies to help come to terms with loss:

• Talk about the death of your loved one with friends and colleagues in order to understand what happened and remember your friend or family member.  Denying the death is an easy way to isolate yourself, and will frustrate your support system  in the process.
• Accept your feelings. People experience all kinds of emotions after death of someone close.  Sadness, anger, frustration and even exhaustion are all normal.
• Take care of yourself and your family.  Eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest help us get through each day and move forward.
• Reach out and help others dealing with the loss.  Helping others has the added benefit of making you feel better as well. Sharing stories of deceased can help everyone cope.
• Remember and celebrate the life of your loved one.  Possibilities include donating clothing or items to a favorite charity, framing photos of fun times, passing a family name to a baby or planting a garden in memory of the deceased. This will allow you to honor your relationship with your loved one in a way that feels right to you. 

If you feel stuck or overwhelmed by your emotions, it may be helpful to talk with a licensed psychologist or other mental health professional who can help you cope with your feelings and find ways to get back on track.